(CNN)Just earlier than 9 a.m. Jap time on Friday, President Donald Trump tweeted that he might maybe maybe maybe perchance be conserving a “Data Convention” to chat referring to the “Jobs Numbers!”

He talked referring to the roles numbers, all handsome, to boot as how he might maybe maybe maybe get rid of an RV and drive all of it over the country and the plot in which he’s terribly bodily fit. One component he didn’t manufacture in the rambling 45-plus minute match turned into plan shut any questions from newshounds. Which makes what he didn’t a news conference in any admire, however a speech.
Nevertheless, I went by technique of the transcript of Trump’s remarks and pulled out the lines you in fact ought to peep. They’re below.
1. “We were very solid. We had the supreme economy in the historical past of our country, we had the supreme economy in the historical past of the realm.”
Right here is now now not factual. No matter how repeatedly he says it. And away we proceed!
2. “And therapeutics, likewise, we’re doing extremely well. Cures, we’re doing well. I feel these two words with out a doubt mix in with each assorted.”
Wait, so Trump thinks the words “remedies” and “therapeutics” proceed well together? That is what he’s saying right here? Fancy “cure-apeutics?” Or maybe “thera-remedies?”
Three. “And it’s additionally — the advantageous phase is, we private four companies — I train it’s probably you’ll perchance maybe perchance additionally even snort seven or eight companies — which might maybe maybe maybe perchance be doing, some equivalent and some very assorted, on the vaccine entrance, and some equivalent and some considerably assorted on the therapeutic entrance.”
Diagram this sentence. I dare you.
four. “I am hoping that the lockdown governors — I manufacture now now not know why they proceed to lock down.”
Smartly, largely due to most states have not met the Trump administration’s key deadline for reopening: A two-week accurate decline in cases. So, yeah.
5. “And I am hoping they additionally exercise our Nationwide Guard. Call me, we will be ready for them so mercurial their heads will gallop.”
In which the President of the United Converse practically begs governors to enable him to send Nationwide Guard troops to reply to what had been, especially of lifeless, peaceful protests in the wake of George Floyd’s death.
6. “What we’re asserting on the present time is a large tribute to equality.”
What he’s asserting is the real fact that the economy added bigger than 2 million jobs over the closing month. The unemployment price for murky staff turned into sixteen.8% in Might maybe maybe maybe also, on the whole accurate with the put it turned into in April. White staff’ unemployment dropped to 12.four% this month.
7. “We had the most other folks working in the historical past of our country, virtually 160 million other folks. We were by no plot even shut to that.”
Right here is factual! But it’s additionally misleading. We had extra other folks working in The US than ever earlier than due to we private extra other folks in The US than ever earlier than.
8. “I feel even earlier than on the present time, our polls were — the polls that I’ve seen and the polls that we manufacture were having a imprint very precise.”
[narrator voice] The polls are now now not having a imprint very precise.
9. “I’m a huge environmentalist.”
10. “We private the cleanest air, the cleanest water we private ever had.”
eleven. “Our physique turned into so powerful that we might maybe maybe maybe perchance additionally very well shut our country, put 1000’s and 1000’s of lives, cease other folks very early on from China from coming in — due to we stopped early, on the halt of January, very early, other folks coming from China who were infected coming into our country.”
Reminder: We private virtually 1.9 million confirmed cases of coronavirus in the United Converses. Extra than 108,000 other folks private died from the virus.
12. “We will private the supreme — we will return to having the supreme economy wherever on this planet; nothing shut.”
You’d now now not return to something that didn’t exist.
13. “But it’s a reward from China, and a extremely shocking reward, I will yelp you that.”
Donald Trump on coronavirus: “An extraordinarily shocking reward.” On a related prove: After I turned into 12, I purchased my dad an Atari 2600 for Father’s Day. That plot, I spent my oldsters’ money to get rid of a reward for myself on a day supposed to celebrate my dad. That, I could maybe maybe maybe snort, is a “very shocking reward.”
14. “They knew it turned into a plan back. But they didn’t cease it wintry from coming to the usa, Europe and the the leisure of the realm. Any individual has to ask these questions, and we will secure the total manner down to the reply.”
Just the President suggesting, with out offering any evidence to lend a hand it up, that China one plot or the opposite purposely allowed the virus to unfold all over the realm while limiting its unfold in their country. No gigantic deal! Out of the ordinary stuff!
15. “However the ink wasn’t dry on that deal when the — when the plague floated in. What is going on on? A virus is floating in from China. What is going on on?”
“Who am I? Why am I right here?” — Admiral James Stockdale
sixteen. “V is terribly fair appropriate. A V is that this, that we’re talking about, will or now now not it’s a V, a U, an L, they had no knowing.”
He’s talking a pair of “V”-fashioned economic restoration in which there’s a extremely excessive dip after which a extremely mercurial restoration.
17. “I feel it turned into potentially the supreme miscalculation in the historical past of industry reveals — historical past of industry reveals, talking about Wall Avenue. And that is the rationale OK.”
Even the incorrect predictions of job losses in Might maybe maybe must be “the supreme miscalculation” in historical past. Many other folks are saying it. Possess me.
18. “You’re getting nearer together. Even you, I realized you are starting up to secure grand nearer together. It seems to be to be considerably higher, I must snort. You are now now not the total manner there yet, however it’s probably you’ll perchance maybe be there soon.”
Trump is referring right here to the clicking corps sitting nearer to one yet any other. The reason in the lend a hand of this? The White Dwelling staff achieve the chairs nearer.
19. “That is now now not a shocking recession. I manufacture now now not even mention the ‘D’ notice. I manufacture now now not talk referring to the ‘D’ notice. I manufacture now now not need to chat about it due to on every occasion any individual even mentions it — I manufacture now now not handle the ‘D’ notice.”
Provided with out comment.
20. “It will all determine. It will all determine.”
[nods head slowly]
21. “Hopefully George is having a imprint down handsome now and saying, ‘There is a large component that is going on for our country.’ Right here is a large day for him, it’s a large day for all individuals. Right here is a large day for all individuals.”
Just to be crystal clear at what Trump is saying right here: George Floyd, who died on the fingers of Minneapolis law enforcement officials lifeless closing month, is having a imprint down from heaven, seeing the roles numbers, and saying, “There is a large component that is going on for our country.” Yes. It is beyond perception.
22. “And this time, the supreme comeback in American historical past — on the present time is maybe, in the occasion you accept as true with of it, the supreme comeback in American historical past. “
Fully every thing needs to be the largest and supreme. The whole lot.
23. “I turned into gazing our sizable vp on the present time being interviewed on CNBC — he did a phenomenal job — and he made an announcement.”
Keep in mind: Donald Trump watches a lot of TV. Fancy, a lot.
24. “I’ve had 144 all-time excessive stock markets in the course of a Three.5-year duration.”
25. “I with out a doubt private an actual — I’ve persistently performed well with numbers. But I had a feel for it.”
26. “It is very anxious, very contagious, very imply to sure other folks.”
The President of the usa on a virus that has killed bigger than 108,000 People: “Very imply to sure other folks.”
27. “They were saying, ‘Oh, you ought to exercise admirals.’ I stated, ‘I did.’ ‘You ought to exercise generals.’ I stated, ‘I did. I ancient them each.'”
Who is that this mysterious “they?”
28. “It is complicated — very complicated machinery, computerized in each single put, and intensely costly.”
Ventilators, man. Those things are “computerized in each single put.”
29. “The cabinets were empty. The outdated administration left us empty cabinets.”
30. “We might maybe maybe maybe perchance additionally merely private some embers or some ashes, or we might maybe maybe maybe perchance additionally merely private some flames coming, however we will achieve them out. We will stomp them out.”
He’s talking about striking out future Covid-19 spikes. And, yes, right here’s the most tortured metaphor ever.
31. “Of us are — other folks are riding. I could maybe maybe maybe perchance additionally merely must get rid of a form of things; drive around metropolis. Per chance I’m going to drive lend a hand to Contemporary York with our first girl in a trailer.”
No words.
32. “I feel I’m going to get rid of an RV and shuttle any longer in an RV with our first girl. I manufacture now now not train anybody would mind that.”
[narrator voice] They would now now not.
33. “So I snort, ‘Thank goodness I’m in ideal form. Thank goodness.'”
In accordance to the outcomes of a physical examination launched by the White Dwelling this week, Trump is 6’Three” mountainous and weighs 244 kilos. That provides him a Physique Mass Index of 30.5, meeting the definition of clinically obese.
34. “I stated it a in point of fact prolonged time ago in step with recordsdata — in step with recordsdata. I’m — I’m meeting with these geniuses — in step with recordsdata.”
“Constant with recordsdata.” (He’s talking a pair of vaccine timeline. I feel.)
35. “I stated a in point of fact prolonged time ago — I stated ‘by the halt of the year.’ I feel it will be a lot earlier than that.”
The most optimistic predictions for the model and distribution of a coronavirus vaccine are lifeless 2020 or early 2021.
36. “We did all of these numbers and all of this greatness — we private the supreme economy we private ever had.”
So many numbers. So grand greatness.
37. “No one has performed extra in three and a half of years than this administration has performed. No one has advance shut to doing the things we private performed.”
Right here is admittedly an uncheckable claim. But Trump says it a lot so it must be factual!
38. “We private sadists, we private thieves, we private a lot of shocking other folks.”
Wait, we had sadists on the VA? Man!
39. “You are something.”
The President of the usa to Yamiche Alcindor, a reporter for PBS NewsHour and a murky girl, who turned into asking him for specifics on a knowing to handle the violence in opposition to African People by the police.
Yeah, this feel handle an actual put to whole.